Loving from a distance....


The say “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”…. It’s a lot easier saying this than being in a relationship and feeling it. But this was certainly one of my favorites in my growing up years….and by growing up here I mean growing up in love…I would always feel that if I could survive the time...the distance or the void between us I could survive anything and my relationship was strong enough to surge against all odd. But never really got to try this for an extended period(Thanking my stars for the same right nowJ )….But I still remember when my husband  had his first official travel…he called me and in the most sincere and sad(never again heard the same tone;)) voice said, “I have to go to Chennai for a month”, his tone left me speechless…..all I could say was, “We can still talk”. At that moment I felt we both cant conduct ourselves the same way…I had to show strength… also asides that for me he being sad was more than an incentive for being  away from him for a month…I was sad but partly happy that he was already missing being with me. But since it was only for a month and involved a lot of shopping pre-visit and lots of gifts post-visit, I survived….but nonetheless the anxiety was there.

Well but there are people who experience this day in and day out. They all probably feel the same varied feelings in changing magnitudes.... being in various phases of their relationships. They squeeze time, space and distance to still be together if not in person at least in spirit. They wait, understand and accommodate ceaselessly for those few moments of togetherness. I wonder is love any different when you are together and when you are apart…I guess when together u have enough time and ways to express your love and get the same reciprocated….but being in a long distance relationship the dynamics change. And you have to find new ways to be in touch…speak less understand more….live less learn more. You learn everyday you learn to be independent, confident and more giving and selfless in the relationship.

But being one who has very rarely being in a Long distance relationship I don’t have much views on it…..but I see this life through the eyes of some of my friends. They are  separated by my more than just time distance and space……only when you look into their lives you realize how can these things in life affect you and people around you. But one thing is for sure it only strengthens your belief in love and makes you a better person with every passing day.

Amita and Sumit Gupta
“We are the perfect couple, were just not in the perfect situation.”
--unknown
This line best describes this lovely couple, who has been on a LDR for 4 months. But I can still the feel the love and flame alive. Sumit and Amita both are trying the best ways to be together again. Communication is a problem, you really can communicate with a crowd around you. So this takes a toll on your personal life. Sumit is away building a future for his lovely wife and son and Amita back here is serving his family, Both are happily serving their purposes…but somewhere between all this they have lost their personal lives…right now the lack in communication is making it utterly difficult. They are not able to relate to each other and plan as communication is the key to planning.
Amita says, “There are many things but the one things I cannot manage at all is that--- I miss him like hell and this sucks the life out of me. I miss my best friend, hubby and my child’s father”. So many names and roles yet only one face. So the void is massive. However when it comes to people around her…she plays all roles that Sumit would and makes their life as smooth as possible. But for her no one can replace Sumit….so its just her. We say with so many Technological advancements today communication is so easy and you can be in touch with people sitting anywhere on the globe…but Amita  says, “We still suffer communication gaps because he is not comfortable chatting and I am not comfortable on phone with a complete family just right next to me. Skype is a option but my kids takes over and doesn’t allow us any quality communication there. So talks have become very formal…I used to share my life with him and today I cant even share what’s happening in my life. And lack of communication takes it toll on her emotional well being as well. She feels it really frustrating sometimes and trust and understanding take a back seat when thoughts like, “he doesn’t care/love me anymore”, “what if he going around with someone there”. But end of the day their bond is too strong to be affected by these things. They still have to endure all these aspects of a LDR. God willing by September she will be with Sumit. They will again be building a happy life together. So what comes to my mind when I think of their love is….

Maggie and Laxo
“Our hours in love have wings; in absence, crutches.”
-- Colley Cibbe
Okay guys first things first….these are not their real names. No they aren’t trying to conceal their identity….its what we fondly call them and  just that these names I feel describe their personality the best. Confession time, I have only met Laxo  once and I am mighty impressed. I have never in my life met more relaxed and down to earth Army officer. We all know them as these tough and disciplined people. But again I guess its Magie’s personality that has rubbed against him. She has this charm that u cant ignore, easy going and happy go lucky. Its these quality of hers that make her sail through her difficult to lead situations. Laxo has been posted to places I haven’t heard nor can ever locate on map. Magie being the person she is, would follow him to any corner of the world. But with fate against her Laxo recently got posted to a place so extreme that Government of India doesn’t allow him to take his family along. As I write this my respect for the defense professionals increases manifolds. It takes extreme courage to stay away from your lovely kids just so that we civilians can have a safe and secure life. They also face almost the same issues but taking it positively Magie looks at the sunny side. She says how she has spent less than 2 years with Laxo in last 6 years of their relationship and how it has shaped her as an individual, changed and developed her personality. She says she can never get used to living like this and still wait for the time when they can start living together without breaks. She says her relationship is based on trust and has made her more independent. And the love and credit card of her husband continue to make sure her priorities don’t change. But the itch to be together is still there…technology helps here. In fact her relationship has thrived on technology all the way. So good to know in this age of internet she still writes letters to Laxo. And like always since she is a person who looks at the pluses of life and moves on she although sad to say good bye believes in the below.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
--A A Milne

Sudeep and Anupama
“I’ll hold you in my heart, till I can hold you in my arms.”
--unknown
Oh I am so sure Sudeep so wants to do this right now. He is all the time worried about his phone bills and so excited about his impending marriage in December. He is inviting one and all. Planning the best getaway after marriage. Making sure no official travel plans hinder any of his plans. But while he is busy with all this, he is missing her so much. I once told him “I don’t understand your relationship, is it not much like any other arranged marriage”. His answer with a sincere smile, “no we do spend time together, we talk everyday. We have our fixed timing. But I do miss her. My phone bills can prove that.”. So as we all invest a lot of time and emotions into our relationships, he is actually making a monetary investment in a literal sense. But from what I have heard from him about Anu, I bet he is doing it at the correct place. He is going to reap huge benefits and I am sure he wont be able to measure it in any possible currency.
Its going to be priceless. He although being real far away from her understands her feeling also. He understand how she must be feeling lonely or how she must be wanting to share all her days  things with him. So Anu is his priority today. And as he always say, “We are a couple separated by distance but united by technology”. Although some of us have an indefinite or unknown amount of wait. His wait is definite and will end in an awesome wedding. So while he gets prepared for his wedding and tick tock tick the clock goes he just feel every word of the below.
“The simple lack of her more is to me than other’s presence.”
--Edward Thomas

Manjushri and Mayuresh
Being with you I realized what it is to love, being away from you I realized how hard it is to live.

--unknown
So here we are Manjushree and Mayuresh….the only words that come to my mind for them is “Made for each other”. They are simply perfect for each other. I am sure their conversations fall short of words…but they can better converse without words....they use their eyes…both are the simplest and most affectionate people I have come across. They complete and compliment each other the best. Manjushree blossoms like a lovely orchid with Mayuresh. They are very different people when with each other and when without each other. I bet they are just superb together. They have had both days together and days apart. But today they are together again. They have been apart but never have ditched any responsibility…..Manjushree filled the gap created when Mayuresh left for US. She played all her roles perfectly….and patiently waited for the time to arrive when she would everything behind and travels miles to be with Mayuresh.
Life has been a rollercoaster for them. Everything happened so fast it was like a fairy tale come true…..but then cam the time for their love and patience to be tested. People would say it was the Lucky charm that Manjushree got with her that got Mayuresh the opportunity. But as it is said nothing worth having comes easy. So it was perfectly true for both their love and their career. However Manjushree agrees  that the time part had its role to play and today their bond is much stronger.
But then today when she is with him the agony of separation is washed away with todays laughter and happiness. Everything is simply much better and future looks oh so bright. Manjushree cant stop smiling today and exactly feels like the below.
“I've noticed that being with you, I smile more often, I anger a little less quickly, the sun shines a little brighter, and life is so much sweeter. For being with you takes me to a different place: a place called love.”
-Unknown

So for sure love has its own ways…it happens and survive in the most strange places and situation. And what’s the fun in life and love if are not tried and tested in all possible ways. But true love triumphs all adversities and conquests even the most unachievable feats. So just be a little more enduring, a little more devoted,  a little more considerate and a little more loving. The wait is never infinite…..it end eventually and bring with it the best of everything that you have waited for so far.
No better way to end this but with the below, so so true…..so just hang on…time will pass and very soon you will look back and smile.
“Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.”
-- Francois de la Rouchefoucauld

Comments

  1. thanx priti...does it answer some of ur questions?? this is real life for you.

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  2. This peace of text will help our (Anu and me ) relationship a lot , it gives me fresh energy so gulp this time .
    Thanks a lot :)

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    1. you are welcome Sudeep..i am awaiting Anu's feedback on this...that matters more,get me the feed back...quick..like right now!!!

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  3. Awesome writing Sona. So impressive.. could totally relate to it... travelled back in time ;)- Seema.

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    1. thanx bhabhi...but really sad i missed you..

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  4. Awesome writing Sona.. very impressive.. took me back to good old days of technologically challenged era (in ur words).. could relate to every emotion mentioned there :)

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    1. thanx bhabhi....i think love was much sweeter in good old technology challenged days..i remeber when u got your first mobile from Sanish dada and were completely hooked on to the SMSes...that was really sweet.

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  5. I appreciate your efforts to write different types of distances in love with real life examples. It is worth reading.

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    1. thanx for taking out the time..share it so that it can reach more people

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  6. Superb !!!..very true....Thanks a lot ..just the same feeling as of mine you have written..very nice!

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    1. glad u liked it....m still awaiting Mayuresh's feedback

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  7. Hey hi Nidhi.. .I have read all your articles and all I get at the end is a smile......welll , I m here in toronto and since 2.5 yrs I m holding on this very LDR. Cheers... good luck. I do look forward to more awesome articles.

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    1. oh shubhada thanx a lot for taking time out to read...n I m so glad that this post finally made you add a comment.......keep reading, commenting and enjoying...do share the blog links with ur friends..

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  8. Thanks soo mch Nidhi..... fr gvng out tym to ponder bout sch a topic which usually dsnt draw much attention of writers.... Nd at th same time thanks a lott fr bringing emotions on paper so well... simply loved reading every bit of it... keep up th gud wrk, thnks again :)

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    1. u r welcum anu....don't know you personally...but have heard a lot about you from Sudeep....keep reading...glad u liked it

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    2. u r welcum anu....don't know you personally...but have heard a lot about you from Sudeep....keep reading...glad u liked it

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  9. Grt..it will surely help some hearts.gud wrk

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    Replies
    1. thanx komal for taking time out to read....keep reading....enjoy

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