The unsent letter
She no more
loved him, she would even sometimes thinks if she ever loved him. He was just a
symbol of her win over others. He was the result of a silent desire to have all
she wanted. The first time Neetu saw Shekhar she adored him, she felt he was
perfect in every which way. But according to her no one was superior than herself.
And then in her mind started this countdown. She had always had this countdown
when it came to getting that guy to fall for her. So it was like a game for her.
She never did this just for the sake of it. But sooner or later she had a new
crush and so the last one had to end. And now it was time for story with Shekhar
to end. She tried everything but this time she was in a fix. Shekhar was the
sweetest guy she had encountered till this day. And so all the more she wanted
it to end. She knew it wont last as she was not in it with her mind and soul.
It was only her brain playing games not only with Shekhar but also with her.
She decided
it had to end, but she couldn’t muster the courage to tell this on his face. So
she decided to write him a letter. She wrote all she could in the letter. The
letter was one with disconnected feelings. The words and sentence didn’t
connect to each other. She finished it. Kept it under her pillow. She was about
to leave the room when her phone rang, it was Shekhar.
Neetu, “Hi”
Shekhar, “
What I am going to tell you next will make you dance in joy”
Neetu was
not interested in knowing what he wanted to say, and she knew she would not be
able to retaliate to him in the way he was expecting. She so wanted this to
end. She just wanted to be able to spend more time with Rishi. And this time
she knew it was for keeps. So she didn’t want to waste Shekhar’s time. But
right now she didn’t have much choice.
Shekhar, “ I
had a discussion with mom about us”
Neetu
was annoyed, she suddenly burst out
interrupting in between, “ You have no job, why in this world would you want to
have such discussions with your mom?”
She didn’t want
things to escalate to their parents. Their families had know each other for
long.
Shekar
sounded a little upset but continued, “ I know I have done it a bit quick. But let
me tell mom is thrilled. She said I have made a wise decision”
Neetu was
not liking it. She somehow continued with the conversation and soon hung up. She
was feeling sorry for Shekar but her heart longed for Rishi. She knew she had
to hurry up.
It was a
friend’s birthday party. It was a friend common to all the three that is Rishi,
Neetu and Shekhar. None of the friends except Rishi knew about Shekhar and Neetu. Neetu had herself told her when she
first came to know about Rishi’s feeling for her. They both knew they were being
selfish, but it was still happening. Rishi and Neetu avoided being togather in
front of others. All three were busy with friends when Neetu suddenly noticed
her phone in Shekhar’s hand. She could see he was reading something. She was terrified
beyond her biggest fear. She knew her phone was flooded with messages from
Rishi. She looked at Rishi gestured him to see what Shekhar was doing. Rishi
rushed to be by Neetu’s side. He asked her in a hushed voice, “I had told you
to talk to him, it got delayed because you wanted to write a letter instead”
Neetu still had that #unsent letter in her clutch. She looked at Shekhar and made
sure no one noticed his red hot face. She could feel the burning rage in him. She
didn’t want him to find out this way. She decided to face it head on, she
started walking towards Shekhar. Rishi held her shoulder to stop her she
resisted and moved towards Shekher. Shekhar looked at her with red blood shot
eyes brimming with tears.
Neetu was
sweating . She held him by hand and said, “want to come for a stroll down
stairs” Shekhar looked at her and felt her grip and the tears somehow consumed Shekhar.
He started walking and soon both of them were down. Shekhar looked at Neetu and
started talking, “Rishi is good. But why did you do this to me? I love you too
much to hold you back. But still why did you do this to me? I have a hundred
questions for you, but I know answers
will change nothing. Once again I m letting you go only because I love you to
much to hold you back. I am not weak to not try to win you back. But I think
you don’t deserve my try. So just leave. Also just be happy and I wish you
never to be in my shoes.” And Shekhar walked away. Neetu was left with an #unsent
letter, unspent words and a flood of tears held back.
The story is very similar to what happened to one of my friend. Emotional pain n broken trust are something that are very hard to move on from...
ReplyDeleteWould like a part 2 of this story as well... Something that says what happened to Neetu..was there closure..??
there is no part 2 dear, somethings are better left unsaid...
ReplyDelete