The night
She closed her eyes, clinched her fist tight enough for her long nails to hurt her. She wanted to feel the pain, she wanted it to be sharp enough to silent her thoughts. She was tired of trying to avoid them, as they would come back every time she was alone. They never left her alone. It was her head criticizing her all the time. She wanted to be incessantly good to everyone and at everything and this pressure was eating her up. She had set such high standards for herself that however good she did she was never good enough to be the best. She was tired of this.
She finally
opened her eyes and looks at Rishi who was sleeping besides her. She decided to
wake him up and talk to him. But then she had nothing to discuss, he like
always was happy with her and didn’t have any complains. The problem was her, she
decided to take action. She knew something was wrong here and no Rishi was neither
able to understand nor comfort her. She switched on her laptop and started
typing and soon she knew what it was. She knew she needed professional help to
come out of this. She finally slept, with a decision to take help to have a better
life. It was #the night that changed her life for better. She could finally
understand what was happening to her and that it had an end to it.
Today she
is much more confident than she ever was. But as an survivor of Depression she
is the one who knows what it really is like. No one else but someone who has
had to deal with it understands it. Today she is a counselor and talks to people
who are still trying to cope with it. She knows how important it is to listen without
questions or advices. It is the not emptiness but a crowded head that leaves
you more tired than anything else.
Today she
is so thankful for that one sleepless night that changed everything for
her and brought everything back into correct
viewpoint. But even today she thinks why did she wait so endlessly long before
reading or asking for help. The only answer she gets is “you need to go back to
Zero to make a fresh start” as very correctly they say "The Darkest Hour
Of The Night Is Just Before The Dawn".
Neatly derived moving story Nidhi. You have brought out the concept of depression in very simplistic way. Loved your writing! Really touching!
ReplyDeleteHi,
DeleteThis story cannot be termed completely as fiction. I am infact going through a similar phase in my life. And writing is helping out of it. so as they say the best things come out of a person in the most adverse and testing times.
Thanks for your appreciation!
Nidhi
Very Well written .
ReplyDeletethanx dear, do share with others.
DeleteThanks,
Nidhi
love the writing style di...
ReplyDeletethanks..do keep reading
Delete