Mithi Dal

With tears in her eyes she signed the letter, that she herself had typed. It was not a decision taken by  her rather a decision taken for her. She was a head strong and educated girl. She was always provided with everything in life except for the freedom to take decisions in life. She had many reasons why this was a wrong decision, but she knew  no way she could win this one sided argument. She finally held her self back and signed the letter. Decision was finalized and action was taken. Now there was no looking back. She told to herself, “All that happens, happens for good.” But at this moment she was silent on the outside and her heart and head were waging a battle against each other. She soon left the place, and took her usual train to Mysore. She could see the same familiar faces in the train, she used to travel to Mysore every weekend and by now was familiar with many other co-passengers. She sat down and was in no mood to talk today, she stuffed her earphones  and put music at the loudest. This was the only way she could think of to stop the voices of her heart and head echoing inside her. Soon she drifted into sleep. Her tired weary eyes could no longer dream as her vision was blurred by the moistness in them. Soon she was asleep, but still not at peace, the voices soon moved to images and she constantly moved back and forth into her happy past and an uncertain future.

Prerna  was working for one of the most reputed IT firm as an management trainee. She had slogged through the year to prove herself. She awarded for the same by her management and was given a position of much more responsibility and repute. So she had achieved the unachievable, but nothing can be worse than reaching for your dream and giving it away. The catch to the position was that she would have to travel either to Hyderabad or Pune. Both locations not allowed by her family. Right at the start of her career her father had told her , “There are so many companies in Mysore, why do you want to work in Bangalore? So far away from us. Its not good for a girl to stay away from her family and work in a distant city.”  But she somehow convinced him saying it was only for a year and she could perform well and ask for a transfer to the Mysore branch. But her good performance had changed the directions in which she had to move. Mysore looked like stepping down and accepting a position where she would not be able to perform. And for this very reason HR had rejected transferring her to Mysore. So she was only left with options of Pune and Hyderabad. Without much choice and freedom, she had today finally given up on her dream and resigned from what looked like a dream opportunity.

Engrossed in her thoughts she didn’t realize how time passed and soon she was in Mysore. Her father like always was at the train station to pick her up. She got of the train and but dint feel like stepping out. She just didn’t want to see the happiness on her father’s face that had resulted out of her decision to quit. But even here she had little choice, she stepped out and touched his feet, like always he uttered, “Khub aghe bado” These words felt like a sprinkling of salt on her wounds, she always thought her father was proud to have daughters and would always be the shoulder that would support them move ahead in life. But today he was the one who had pulled her back, with bitter thoughts she smiled at him and moved into the car. It was Dark and she supposed that must have lead his father to not notice her red swollen eyes.  Soon they were at the drive way of there home. They reached home, she stepped out instantly and moved to her room. She kept her stuff and looked around at her room, it felt like a prison. She felt like she was in a prison which she could never break out of. Her fathers pride and stern decisions had always been like this. She changed and moved out for dinner, she asked her mom what was for her dinner. Her mother noticed her sadness but there was little she could do. She laid the dinner plate for her. Prerna asked what was for dinner and her mom replied while still in the kitchen, “Mithi Dal hai”. Hearing this her eyes started to trickle with small drops of tears and memories of a perfectly joyous childhood stemmed in. She remember how for a brief period her father was transferred to Gandhinagar, they for once were out of the clutches an extended family. She today felt how much more better his farther was  with no free advice rendering relatives around. She so wished they had never come back. She took the plate from her mother and looked her in the eye. Her Mother could not say much and just told, “Mithi dal pasand hai na tujhe” Prerna replied, “ Kash hum wapas na aye hote, Roj mithi dal milti na?”

Her Mom had nothing to say, she patted her back and suggested they moved for dinner.